101 Ways to Get Sesshomaru to Kill You
by lordsesshomarusgf
Summary: Ways to bug Sesshomaru until he kills you or atleast wants to.
1. Chapter 1

101 Ways to Get Sesshomaru to Kill You

Me: Hilo people. I had so much fun writing this so I hope you enjoy reading it! If your not laughing your ass off by the end then you have absolutely NO sense of humor! Im EVIL! MWAHAHAHAHA!!

My bffl Briannah helped me with this so atleast half the credit goes to her!

Sesshomaru: This is going to be painful isnt it?

Me: Yep! -

Disclaimer: I dont own Inuyasha because if I did Kikyo would be dead, Briannah would be married to Inuyasha and Sesshomaru would have his arm back.

The first 20 ways to attempt suicide

Tell him you think inuyasha is way hotter than him

Follow him around screaming "FLUFFY!" at the top of your lungs

Teach rin the barney song

Auction him off to crazy, rabid fangirls

Get him a necklace like inuyasha's but instead of "sit boy" say "sit fluffy"

Bump into him and say " Sorry miss!"

Sell his swords on ebay

Ask him if he gets handicap parking

Use his fluff as a tissue

Tell him that in most cases it takes a real man to wear pink eyeshadow

Tell him you like naraku's eyeshadow better than his

Make rin ask him where babies come from and if he could please demonstrate on jaken

Call him the cuttest-wuttest widdle doggie you ever saw

Refuse to let go of his fluff

Tell him jaken got rin pregnant

Dye his hair and fluff neon pink

While hes walking aly down in front of him and sream " I LOVE NARAKU!" at the top of your lungs

When hes fighting inuyasha or naraku loudly ask him if hes gay

When hes in the middle of an important speech or somethin slap his ass and say " whats cookin' good lookin "

Make him watch every single episode of Dora, Elmo, Sesame street, the doodle bops ect.

Me: Well thats the first chapter! I hope you laughing your ass of right now! Please R&R or else I wont post the next 20!

Sesshomaru: I hate you.

Me: AWW! I love you to Sesshy!

Sesshomaru: grrrrrrrrr

Me: glares REVIEW OR DIE!


	2. Chapter 2

Me: YAY! Chapter 2 is done! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Sorry it took me so long to update but my computer sucks.

Sesshomaru: I wish it would break more often.

Me: and why is that?

Sesshomaru: You cant torture me if your computer is broken.

Me: well im getting a new laptop that will NOT break so it sucks for you. Anyway on with the list!!

disclaimer: I dont own inuyasha... yet.

YAY! Who knew comitting suicide was so much fun?

Repeatedly sing "ring around the fluffy my lord of puppies puppy puppy puppy we all fall down!"

Cling to his leg and call him mommy

Continuosly question his gender

When he sits down at the table to eat scream "NO! BAD FLUFFY! DOWN!"

Paint a cresent moon on your forehead and go around yelling" I AM THE GREAT LORD SESSHOMARU, GIVE ME ALL YOUR HAIR PRODUCTS!"

Find the arm inuyasha cut of and slap him with it while saying stop hittin yourself over and over

Mercelisly mock him about how his stupid half-breed brother managed to hack his arm off

Roll him in catnip then when hes being shredded by thousands of cats sit on the side lines laughing

Ask him why he has elf ears but inuyasha has insanely adorable doggy ears

Every time he says something say "i dont get it" in a dumb blond voice

Randomly stab him in the shoulder with a rusty katana

Paint his nails neon pink

Put his hair into dread locks

Black mail him into wearing kagome's school uniform

Ask him repeatedlt if he loves kagura

Pay kagura to tell him shes pregnant with sesshy jr.

In the middle of a fight scream " I love you sesshy- boo!"

while hes bathing switch his cloths with a pink tutu and ballet slippers

while hes fighting naraku yell " HEY SESSHOMARU IM PREGNANT AND YOUR THE DAD" then when he faints tell him you were just kidding

Spray paint IM REALLY A GIRL on his armor

Me: this is fun!

Sesshomaru: for you maybe! AND IM NOT A GIRL!!

Me: so your just gay?

Sesshomaru: NO!

Me: crossdresser?

Sesshomaru: NO!

Me: then what are you? ...Hello? Sesshomaru? HOW COULD U JUST LEAVE LIKE THAT?

REVIEW OR U WILL SUFFER THE SAME FATE AS SESSHOMARU!!


	3. Chapter 3

Me: hello people of this planet!(or others) Im really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really sorry but I kinda...misplaced my notebook where I had everything written down so no new chapter yet...

Sesshomaru: YES!!

Me: THAT IS NOT A GOOD THING!!

Sesshomaru: for me it is

Me: SIT FLUFFY!!

Sesshomaru: XP owwww

Me: ok since I feel really bad for not updating I will give you a preview of the sequel or whatever I can remember...

introduce him to his long lost couzin...AYAME SOHMA!!

call him fluff-butt

make up a theme song for him

when hes fighting sing it as loudly a possible

(dont forget to make it really annoying)

(pretend there is a line here)

Me: again im really sorry!! I will update as soon as I find my note book!!

Sesshomaru: your never going to find it

Me: YOU HID IT DIDNT YOU!! DIDNT YOU!!

Sesshomaru: O.O

Me: im going to hurt you... anyway byebye peoples!!


	4. Chapter 4

Me: ok people I have some good news and some bad news

Me: ok people I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I found my notebook!!

everyone cheers except sesshomaru

Me: the bad news is my dog used it as a chew toy….

Sesshomaru: YES!!

Me: sit fluffy

Sesshomaru: owww

Me: so I spent 3 days taping the entire thing back together and let me tell u it's not that easy especially when your dog is trying to kill you for stealing her new toy!!

Disclaimer: I don't own inuyasha yet but when I do kikyo will die!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

FLUFF-CHAN MUST NOT LIVE IN PEACE!!

#41. hit him repeatedly with a giant inflatable dolphin

#42. when ever anyone come near him snarl and yell MY FLUFFY-WUFFYKINS!!

#43. switch tokijin with a stick

#44. when he gets injured say 'awww did da big bad doggie get huwt?'

#45. call him every annoying nick name u can think of ex.) sesshie-boo, fluffykins etc.

#46. make rin cry

#47. sic a rabid cat on him

#48. blind fold him and make him sniff one of your dirty gym socks

#49. say 'OMFG I LUV YOUR BROTHER!! I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THOSE INSANELY CUTE DOGGIE EARS!!' over and over and over and over and over….

#50. steal his fluff and parade around yelling 'I am Sesshomaru pet my fluff!!'

#51. tell him hes not as cute as inuyasha cuz of his elf ears

#52.ask him how old he is then slap a hand over your mouth and say "shit!! I forgot it's impolite to ask a woman her age!! Shit shit shit!!"

#53.ask him why he has pretty red flowers on his kimono

#54. lock him in a room with barney, elmo and inuyasha

#55. stare at him for no good reason

#56. when hes asleep slowly ease your finger towards his face until its right between his eyes

#57. when he gets his ass kicked by inuyasha start singing bad day at the top of your lungs

#58. tell him hes wearing the wrong make up for his complexion

#59. tell miroku hes a girl

#60. turn his fluff into a pillow snip snip snip

(pretend theres a line here)

Me: ok that's it for today!! Sayonara peoples!!


	5. Chapter 5

Me: Ok I know I haven't updated in FOREVER but I have a really good reason!!

Sesshomaru: Please your just lazy and refuse to do any work at all

Me: Actually im writing like 5 new fanfics & I started school so I have tons of homework

Sesshomaru: Riiight

Me: I wouldnt be sarcastic if I were you

Sesshomaru: Oh?And why not?

Me: Because I am the author and I will not hesitate to kill you off

Sesshomaru: You wouldnt dare!

Me: TRY ME BITCH!

Danielle (my assistant): ok well since Sonny is busy trying to kill Sesshomaru I guess I have to do the disclaimer...She doesnt own Inuyasha but one of her goals is to someday buy inuyasha from rumiko takahashi...its probably not going to happen though...

Danielle: Oh and since she hasnt updated in so long and since if she doesnt do it now you probably wont get another chapter til christmas the rest of the ways to get fluffy to kill you shall be in this chapter.

(-)

If your not dead yet: CONGRADULATIONS!! YOUR REWARD IS THIS CHAPTER!!

#61. Make a magazine declaring him girl of the year

#62. Post his address on the internet and when he is being raped by rabid fangirls refuse to help

#63. Put him in Naraku's baboon pelt

#64. Constantly tell him how cute you think Inuyasha's ears are

#65. Pet his fluff and murmur fluffy in his ears while he sleeps

#66. Force him to play house with you and rin and force him to be the mom

#67. Put an apple on his head and tell him your practicing you archery skills so you can be like Kagome

#68. Put fake bunny ears on him

#69. Dress him up like the easter bunny

#70. Constantly feel his head and say: Are you sure you dont have a fever cuz your HOT!

#71. Afterwards dump a bucket of ice water on him and say chill dude!

#72. Squeal like a fangirl everytime he walks into the room

#73. Wake him up every 5 minutes and in the morning ask him how he slept

#74.Dress up like Inuyasha and taunt him

#75. Force him to help you finnish this list

#76. Buy him a small yappy dog and train it to follow him everywhere

#77.Practice the windscar on him with a stick

#78. Play your ipod as loudly as possible in his ear (really annoying songs like barbie girl

#79.try to guess what breed of dog he is

#80. tell him a dude in a baboon pelt took rin for a while

#81. Take him to a store where they sell anime stuff then scream at the top of your lungs OMFG LOOK A GIANT SESSHOMARU PLUSHIE!!

#82. Send him tons of fan mail and say its from Jaken

#83. Hug his fluff and scream fluffyness in his ear

#84. When he monologuing hit him with a frying pan and tell him its not healthy to talk to himself

#85. Get him a neon pink leather collar with a tag that says bubba on it

#86. Force him to wear it

#87. Steal tokijin and when he asks for it back tell him aliens took it

#88. Set his fluff on fire

#89. Throw balls and sticks and then demand to know what kind of dog doesnt know how to play fetch

#90. Give him a flea bath

#91. suggest that he and Inuyasha just share the damn sword and that he should wear rubber gloves to avoid being electrocuted

#92. Hot glue him, Inuyasha, Naraku and Jaken together

#93. Convince him the macarena is really and evil spell that will destroy Naraku and Inuyasha

#94. Whenever he walks into a room formally announce the arrival of "Lord Fluffykinz"

#95. Every time he says Inuyasha is a worthless hanyou, slap him. Hard.

#96. Force him to carry you around and when he does pull on his hair and yell GIDDY UP HORSEY!!

#97. Ask him if he loves and when he says no scream bloody murder (if he says yes rush him to a hospital, and then have him put in a mental health institution)

#98. Call him Mr. Snuggle-Wuggle fluffykinz

#99. Give him a tickle me elmo and tell him to stop suppressing his inner child

#100. When hes fighting Inuyasha squirt him in the face with a spray bottle and say bad kitty!

ONE MORE TO GO!! YAY!!

#101. Blackmail him into singing Im to sexy for my shirt at extremely inappropriate times


End file.
